Every now and then I peak over at my analytics to see what posts on my blog people are reading the most…
Do you know what is one of the top pages people see when they first come to this blog?
It’s my post about flakey Colombian girls.
I didn’t really intend this, but it’s what the gods of Google decided. Lots of people end up reading my blog because they typed in something about Colombia girls, and possibly about them flaking.
Side Note: If you dig a little deeper, you will see the search engine volume on Google for things related to ‘Colombian girls’ dwarfs that of any competing ‘Colombia’ term by a factor of 10.
Anyways, my original post had to do with their flakiness, and truth be told I get a good amount of direct hits from guys searching the phrase exactly (I kid you not) “Why are Colombian girls so flakey?”
Well, in the time that’s past since I wrote that post, I’ve had a little more success in dealing with the flakiness, and I’d like to share a simple tactic to help the brothers out.
This is a protocol that can be used in any country, i.e. not just Colombia… but it will especially come in handy in Latin countries, where you can never really be sure the girl won’t flake– even if you’ve got her heavily invested and highly interested in you.
It’s a very simple tactic which will even work if the girl shows up late, which can happen as well.
For all the reading I’ve done on the ol’ interwebz about South America, world travel, and Latin girls, the specific tactics for dealing with flakiness seemed lacking. So, I offer this to the common man who will undoubtedly meet flakiness, in one country or the next.
Basically, there are three important points for you to pick out: public transit, meeting point, and working point.
1) Public transit – With this you are making it easily accessible for her, and for you, in case you live a ways away. Also, with public transit closeby the girl likely won’t expect you to pay for a $15 cab ride (which you can offer to do after date #3, provided you’ve determined she’s a good girl). This is ideally a metro station.
2) Meeting point – With this you are setting up where the date will commence. This is where you will actually meet her, and will offer a chance to go for a walk with her right off the bat. It could be a coffee shop, or just a recognized landmark near the public transit.
3) Work point – With this, you are setting up where you will get work done. The best is just a place with wifi where you can get caught up on things online, whether replying to emails, paying bills, writing, etc. Ideally, it is actually your apartment or office.
So here’s the tactic: arrange these points within a 5 minute walk of each other, and arrange your time so that your default is that you’re getting work done at the work point, having the girl call you when she arrives to the meeting point.
… Thus if the girl doesn’t show and/or doesn’t call, it is zero wasted time.
Just making sure you heard that… ZERO wasted time. Every business man should be all ears.
Example: Set up a date and tell her to call you when she’s at the bottom of the stairs at the Poblado metro station. You are at work at your apartment 3 blocks away. If she shows up, you’re there in a jiffy. If she shows up late, you’ve filled up the time. And if she flakes, you haven’t lost a second of productivity.
Picking The Points
You need to take time and pick the points wisely. It can be a little bit of a hassle if you’re completely new to a city, but very easy to do once you have some familiarity with the area. And once you have them, you have them as a default setup for a first date.
First, you want to pick out the work point AND a separate meeting point close by. If you get work done in a coffee shop, a meeting point might be the bakery two doors down. If you get your work done in your apartment, the meeting point would be at the coffee shop a block away. If you work in an office downtown, meet her on the steps of the theater.
Meet her at the steps, the fountain, the naked statues, whatever… just some easily recognizable outdoor location, ideally located near a public transit stop.
The reason you want to separate the meeting point and your work point is because you don’t want the girl to walk in on you and interrupt your work. Your work is important, and in many cases, you will need to take a few moments to wrap up what you’re doing, shut down your laptop, put things in your satchel, get out of a strong ‘work-mode’ mindset and into a more relaxed, playful mood more suitable to a date.
The ‘buffer’ between these places provides that space and those few extra moments.
Also, just speaking personally, sometimes I am so deep in concentration on my work that if anyone walks up an interrupts me, I look at them with a stern, annoyed face. That’s can be bad vibe to start a date with, especially a first date. You don’t want to give her the feeling that she is offensively invading your space.
Plus, I don’t want to have the mindset that I need to look up every few minutes to see if she’s arrived and looking for me.
So you just separate the two points.
You also want to have the public transit near the meetup point because it’s easily accessible for her. She can make her way without too much fanfare.
If you live near a public transit spot (say, a metro station) you have a really good setup for this because you can just chill in your house, doing whatever you want, and then you get the call when (if) she arrives at the station. You can wait in your socks.
Reaping The Rewards
So, just to recap, you tell the girl to call you when she gets to the meetup point and you’ve narrowed it down to three possible scenarios.
- Scenario 1: She shows up… Great, it’s a date.
- Scenario 2: She shows up late… Great, it’s a date (if you decide to go through with it), plus no time lost.
- Scenario 3: She doesn’t show up… Great, you get to keep working.
Wins all around.
So there you have it, gentlemen… I’ve basically adopted the above as my SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for first dates with any Latina.
Now I sometimes look forward to being flaked on.