Girl Flaking, Brazilian Style
One of my posts that has grown in popularity and comments is the one called “The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Colombian Girls.” I’ve had numerous Colombians themselves comment on the post, including girls from Medellin who confirm exactly what I talk about.
Well, I just went on a romp through Southern Brazil and found some girls down there as well. Let me tell you about one of them…
As a background, I met this girl in a certain Brazilian city. She was visiting there with her friend and seemed like a sweet, cute girl who spoke some English. I made her laugh some, and we talked for maybe 20 minutes. Then she said she was from Brazilian city we’ll call Flora, and I mentioned that I was planning to visit there in a couple of weeks. She got really excited about this and told me to write down her email and phone number so we could stay connected.
We connected on Facebook and here’s the play-by-play. I’ll call the girl Berta. The messages take place over a few weeks while I make my way to her city. (Note: I’ve changed all the proper names, and edited it for sake of brevity. A “…” means words have been left out.)
### Begin Facebook messages. ###
Me: Helloooooo
Berta: Hey dear! How r u doing? When r u coming to Flora?… I can help you… I am gonna think about one place [to stay], so I let you know!=D but when you get here, i am gonna take you to good places…
(few days pass…)
Me: Hey Berta, are you back in Flora? That would be awesome if you took me to good places…
Berta: Yes I am here… So we can meet and do a lot of things! Actually, one friend from Italy Is coming next weekend too… So I can bring you to a historical cities near to Flora! Well dear, I am waiting for you!!! Beijos
(few days pass…)
Berta: Heyyyy Ryan! have a good and safe trip to Flora! Let me know when u get here! If u need something my cellphone is *5*3 – *0*9 ! Beijos
(few days pass … the following is from a Wednesday)
Me: Hey Berta! I am here in Flora… Today I tried to go to the park but in the south but it feels like you have to know the bus system to get anywhere… Where are you?
Berta: I am in Jonston, near to Mall do Flora! Well I don’t know anything about bus system, but we can find someone to help you! unfortunately I don’t have so much time during the week, cause I work, but if you want I can take you for a ride in the weekend!!! and also I am free tomorrow at night, we can go somewhere and Friday I will have a party and if you want you can join me!!!
Me: paaaaaarty! sounds great hehe… I’ll just call you tomorrow afternoon, is that cool?
Berta: Ya its!! we can go to a pub, bar, restaurant, whatever you want to!!
(I called her the next day as planned, but she didn’t answer. So I didn’t try to contact her for a few days. Then this happens that Saturday evening…)
Me: Berta! What are you up to?
Berta: Hey dear I am going to Bora’s, in a sertanejo do you wanna go? …
Me: What is sertanejo? My roomates are telling me it’s like country music…
(… she explains what is is…)
Berta: But if you want we can go to Mario. It’s gonna have a house music there! What do you prefer???
Me: We can start at the sertanejo place… Where is it?
(… she gives directions and address…)
Me: Ok I think I can get there by 1130, do you want to just meet there?
Berta: Ok! I just took a shower dear.
(… after 20 mins I get in a taxi, but feel led to check facebook again…)
Berta: Dear, I am leaving now. I changed the plans. I will go to El Rico, it’s in Lupitis.
Me: Ay caramba. I am in a taxi. Lupitis is the road? What is the address?
### End Facebook messages. ###
I got no response from her after that point. Zero.
Not even a “Hey I didn’t see you!” or “Hey sorry about last night” or “Hey are you still in Flora?” type of message.
Not even in the days following. Nothing.
Now, is it just me being a dumb gringo to believe that she would want to meet up with me? Did she not sound excited in the earlier messages? Did she not practically invite me out those nights?
And um… did she not just flake on me while I was in the freakin taxi?
Look I can take a “no,” or a total ignoring of my Facebook messages.
I can also handle if she gives me a cryptic “no,” like “I have a lot of things to do” or “I’m going out with friends tonight” or “I’m under house arrest for the next 2 months” sort of thing.
But this isn’t it any of those. She was giving me all positive signals, and then she balked.
It was a flake. A Brazilian flake.
Now, you ‘dating coaches’, don’t worry, I always take precautions against flaking, i.e. I have other plans that I’m going to do that night, regardless of whether she wants to see me or not. (Yes, in retrospect it’s probably true that she needed to be more “invested” in me in order to want to meetup again.)
And don’t worry, I had a really good time that particular night despite the fact she flaked. A really good time.
I’m just pointing out that the female flakery extends into Brazil, and men should be aware of it.
What you thought was a cute Brazilian chick into you was just some chaff in the wind.
