So, the other night, something happened to me which is not all that rare in Colombia.
It was last night actually… but to get the whole picture we need to go back two nights ago.
Let me give you the play-by-play.
The following takes place on a Sunday night via Facebook chat. The girl I’m talking to works nights, and was at work during this conversation.
Me: “Quieres pasar un rato, o sea cuando no estas trabajando?” Do you want to hang out, I mean when you aren’t working?
Her: “Me estas invitando a salir?” Are you inviting me to go out?
Me: “Si.” Yes.
Her: “Jeje, muchas gracias, cuentame que quieres hacer? donde quieres ir?” Hehe. Thank you very much, tell me what do you want to do? Where do you want to go?
Me: “Donde sea, tienes que trabajar mañana?” Wherever, do you have to work tomorrow?
Her: “No, en la noche no.” No, at night, no.
Me: “Well en la noche nada esta pasando las lunes, pero podemos comer algo y mirar una pelicula en mi casa.” Well at night nothing happens on Mondays, but we can eat something and watch a movie at my house.
Her: “Vale, claro que si. Donde vives?” OK. Yes, of course. Where do you live?
Me: “Cerca. Calle *****” Closeby. (A street which is a 15 minute walk from where she works.)
Her: “Vienes por mi a la oficina.” Come for me at the office.
Me: “OK, podemos caminar… te llamo por la tarde mañana ok?” OK, we can walk. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon, ok?
Her: “Vale.” OK.
The next day, as promised, I call her in the afternoon. No answer.
I wait 10 minutes, call her again. No answer. I leave a message telling her I’ll try Facebook.
She’s not online on Facebook but I sent her a FB message anyway.
30 minutes goes by. Nothing.
By this time, I am getting an inkling like she might do the infamous Colombian flake on me, but I was still moderately hopeful because she gave me a “claro que si” with regards to our plans.
So, evening rolls around and I decide to go to the place she works at. It’s about a 15 minute walk away, but I also needed to get something to eat regardless, so the walk wouldn’t be just for her. (This is something I have developed due to previous experiences with the Colombian flake.)
So, I arrive at the office and ask where she is. They say she’s in the kitchen (her work place has a large kitchen), so I make my way to the kitchen, and there she is. Cooking.
With another guy.
Of course, she is a little surprised to see me walk in and starts apologizing and giving all sorts of excuses as to why she can’t go out.
I told her in response: “You said yes yesterday.” “I called, you didn’t answer.” “I sent you messages, you didn’t answer.”
She continued to give more apologies, but there she was. Cooking. With another guy.
To top all this off, it looked like she had put herself together. I mean, she wasn’t wearing her simple work clothes anymore if you know what I mean.
Needless to say, I immediately deleted the girl’s number upon leaving the building.
I, ladies and gentlemen, was victim to the Colombian girl flake.
I was livid as I began the walk back to my place.
I mean, I rarely get angry, but when someone does something like this to me, so in my face, I can’t so easily control it. It was blatant disrespect.
I mean, who do you think I am, chica? Do you really think you can give me an unequivocally positive response the night before, and then completely deny everything the night following?
This comes down to how you treat a fellow human being, much less a guy. I mean, I understand that in Colombian culture, many people (men included) are used to a certain degree of laxity when it comes to planning. They arrive hours late to first destination, they arrive after closing time to the discotecas, and then sometimes they end up at home after a night of essentially riding around in a taxi, being late to everything.
I’ve experienced a lot of this. I can roll with it.
I can also handle rejection if that’s what you want to do. I mean, listen, it is completely within your prerogative to simply deny me, reject me, or ignore me. Simply don’t answer my messages at all. Don’t respond to my calls. Or just outright say “I’m not interested.”
It might sting a little, but I can take that. If that’s how it is, that’s how it is. Que será, será.
BUT, what I can’t roll with is saying YES to something, and then saying NO to it when the time comes to do it.
This is not a matter of “culture sensitivity” or of “being understanding” or of “communication” or of any other matter of politically correct nonsense. This has to do with respect from one person to another.
This girl flat out dissed me.
This was not the first time this has happened to me. Colombian girls flake like it is a genetic trait they were born with.
Even if you get a double-confirmation, there’s no telling when they will suddenly forget about you and your interaction with them. They will try to act innocent about it, but they know damn well what they did. And they’re ok with it.
This is a severe flaw, no matter how hot they seem to be.
I mean, Colombia is a predominantly Catholic country. Catholic theologians of older times have written so eloquently about developing a virtuous life. They talk about becoming a good person, someone who is trustworthy. And, supposedly, Catholics follow the words of Jesus himself who said:
Let your ‘Yes’ be a ‘Yes’. And your ‘No’ be a ‘No’.
But what we have here in Colombia is a female species that allows their Yes to be a No on a regular basis.
These girls flake and flake often because it’s who they are. And it’s a damn shame given how ridiculously gorgeous they are.
For me, it is the one thing I can’t stand about Colombian girls.
I don’t care if you reject me. I don’t care if you say no… But for god’s sake, stop with the flaking.
Upon entering a pizza joint to get my dinner, there was a sweet, attractive paisa girl to take my order. It quelled my anger somewhat, and helped to remind me I’m still in a land of abundance, where beautiful girls are plentiful.
Medellin, unlike many other cities, can bring you quickly back to optimism…
I mean, maybe, just maybe, there is a Colombian girl out there who doesn’t flake on people…