The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Colombian Girls

So, the other night, something happened to me which is not all that rare in Colombia.

It was last night actually… but to get the whole picture we need to go back two nights ago.

Let me give you the play-by-play.

The following takes place on a Sunday night via Facebook chat. The girl I’m talking to works nights, and was at work during this conversation.

Me: “Quieres pasar un rato, o sea cuando no estas trabajando?” Do you want to hang out, I mean when you aren’t working?
Her: “Me estas invitando a salir?” Are you inviting me to go out?
Me: “Si.” Yes.
Her: “Jeje, muchas gracias, cuentame que quieres hacer? donde quieres ir?” Hehe. Thank you very much, tell me what do you want to do? Where do you want to go?
Me: “Donde sea, tienes que trabajar mañana?” Wherever, do you have to work tomorrow?
Her: “No, en la noche no.” No, at night, no.
Me: “Well en la noche nada esta pasando las lunes, pero podemos comer algo y mirar una pelicula en mi casa.” Well at night nothing happens on Mondays, but we can eat something and watch a movie at my house.
Her: “Vale, claro que si. Donde vives?” OK. Yes, of course. Where do you live?
Me: “Cerca. Calle *****” Closeby. (A street which is a 15 minute walk from where she works.)
Her: “Vienes por mi a la oficina.” Come for me at the office.
Me: “OK, podemos caminar… te llamo por la tarde mañana ok?” OK, we can walk. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon, ok?
Her: “Vale.” OK.

The next day, as promised, I call her in the afternoon. No answer.

I wait 10 minutes, call her again. No answer. I leave a message telling her I’ll try Facebook.

She’s not online on Facebook but I sent her a FB message anyway.

30 minutes goes by. Nothing.

By this time, I am getting an inkling like she might do the infamous Colombian flake on me, but I was still moderately hopeful because she gave me a “claro que si” with regards to our plans.

So, evening rolls around and I decide to go to the place she works at. It’s about a 15 minute walk away, but I also needed to get something to eat regardless, so the walk wouldn’t be just for her. (This is something I have developed due to previous experiences with the Colombian flake.)

So, I arrive at the office and ask where she is. They say she’s in the kitchen (her work place has a large kitchen), so I make my way to the kitchen, and there she is. Cooking.

With another guy.

Of course, she is a little surprised to see me walk in and starts apologizing and giving all sorts of excuses as to why she can’t go out.

I told her in response: “You said yes yesterday.”  “I called, you didn’t answer.” “I sent you messages, you didn’t answer.”

She continued to give more apologies, but there she was. Cooking. With another guy.

To top all this off, it looked like she had put herself together. I mean, she wasn’t wearing her simple work clothes anymore if you know what I mean.

Needless to say, I immediately deleted the girl’s number upon leaving the building.

I, ladies and gentlemen, was victim to the Colombian girl flake.

I was livid as I began the walk back to my place.

I mean, I rarely get angry, but when someone does something like this to me, so in my face, I can’t so easily control it. It was blatant disrespect.

I mean, who do you think I am, chica?  Do you really think you can give me an unequivocally positive response the night before, and then completely deny everything the night following?

This comes down to how you treat a fellow human being, much less a guy. I mean, I understand that in Colombian culture, many people (men included) are used to a certain degree of laxity when it comes to planning. They arrive hours late to first destination, they arrive after closing time to the discotecas, and then sometimes they end up at home after a night of essentially riding around in a taxi, being late to everything.

I’ve experienced a lot of this. I can roll with it.

I can also handle rejection if that’s what you want to do. I mean, listen, it is completely within your prerogative to simply deny me, reject me, or ignore me. Simply don’t answer my messages at all. Don’t respond to my calls. Or just outright say “I’m not interested.”

It might sting a little, but I can take that. If that’s how it is, that’s how it is. Que será, será.

BUT, what I can’t roll with is saying YES to something, and then saying NO to it when the time comes to do it.

This is not a matter of “culture sensitivity” or of “being understanding” or of “communication” or of any other matter of politically correct nonsense. This has to do with respect from one person to another.

This girl flat out dissed me.

This was not the first time this has happened to me. Colombian girls flake like it is a genetic trait they were born with.

Even if you get a double-confirmation, there’s no telling when they will suddenly forget about you and your interaction with them. They will try to act innocent about it, but they know damn well what they did. And they’re ok with it.

This is a severe flaw, no matter how hot they seem to be.

I mean, Colombia is a predominantly Catholic country. Catholic theologians of older times have written so eloquently about developing a virtuous life. They talk about becoming a good person, someone who is trustworthy. And, supposedly, Catholics follow the words of Jesus himself who said:

Let your ‘Yes’ be a ‘Yes’. And your ‘No’ be a ‘No’.

But what we have here in Colombia is a female species that allows their Yes to be a No on a regular basis.

These girls flake and flake often because it’s who they are. And it’s a damn shame given how ridiculously gorgeous they are.

For me, it is the one thing I can’t stand about Colombian girls.

I don’t care if you reject me. I don’t care if you say no… But for god’s sake, stop with the flaking.

Upon entering a pizza joint to get my dinner, there was a sweet, attractive paisa girl to take my order. It quelled my anger somewhat, and helped to remind me I’m still in a land of abundance, where beautiful girls are plentiful.

Medellin, unlike many other cities, can bring you quickly back to optimism…

I mean, maybe, just maybe, there is a Colombian girl out there who doesn’t flake on people…

  • In Latin America, and especially Colombians, they don’t tell you like it is. They tell you what you wanna hear.

    Writing about girls boosts traffic, but honesty more so. Nice one.

    • Thanks Colin. Maybe I’ll write more like these…

  • Sounds like a rant from any number of girlfriends who have had a guy say he’d call after a date and never did.  😉

    That’s a bullshit move, though. Especially to set up another date while blowing off a first date. As hard as rejection is, sometimes rejecting is equally as hard for people. Not wanting to say no or hurt someone’s feelings. Honesty really is the fundamental cornerstone of effective relationships.

    • Yeah, I definitely did not have an effective relationship with this one! lol

      The bigger point of course was about Colombian girls. The flake percentage here is much greater than in other places.

      • Haha, when I say relationship I really mean the 24-hour kind. Or, you know, 2-hour kind. 😉

  • Ha, Ryan… this was a great read.  Sorry about the chica tho.  And its soo not just the women.  I had a Colombian guy do literally the same exact thing to me when I first got here.  Fucking rude!  

    • Haha, the women speak! Lo siento escucharlo, Chelsea. We should commiserate over a drink sometime.

  • invitada

     Well, this was certainly an unlucky situation. I’m a 27 years-old Colombian woman, born and raised here (happily married to a foreigner) and I agree with your point of view, SHE was rude and not very honest, but isn’t it kinda harsh to us Colombian women to generalize and come up with the “flake” thing? Maybe you can try to find an educated person, who can be more reliable? I would’ve never done such a thing, so I would say is not a Colombian costume, but some women are just like that. Go and hang around in an educated environment (universities, etc) and check for girls that don’t try so hard (all dressed up, full make up, no breast implants etc…).

    • If you don’t flake, I’d say you’re a unique Colombiana… But hey, I love it when the ladies dress up. Let’s not get rid of the good stuff. 😉

      • Guest

        Ryan, as a Colombian I can tell you the first problem you have is going for the fake girls, fake paisa women come in pretty packages but they’re full of air. Of course you’re single and a man and anything that appeals to the eyes will go. You have been warned!
        Bogotanas for example don’t go around showing off their boobies and butts as much as the paisas but they are more intellectual and have more brain matter. If you are in love with Medellín, then your best bet like invitada mentioned is to go for the paisa women that have some education, preferably university education. Are you really ready to date a girl who probably spells her own mother tongue 10 times worse than you just because she looks like a Colombian version of Barbie? These girls are usually big gold-diggers, son don’t expect anything better than wild sex but no reassurance besides that.
        Believe me, in comparison to any Euro or Anglo American we Colombians are extremely passionate and sensual even if we don’t all go dressed in skimpy dresses. So yes, there are Colombian women that are not flaky and with enough brains to go beyond the superficial.

        • bogotanas are also uglier, she forgot to mention that..just saying.. im paisa and i dont “show off my boobies”.. you triggered some city rivlary ryan haha

          • Carolina

            Hey girls! We are not only Colombians. We are WOMEN. So let’s respect each other. Tanto en Bogotá como en Medellín hay mujeres bellas (tomando en cuenta los estándares de belleza social y culturalmente establecidos) como inteligentes. Así que por favor rompamos definitivamente con estas prácticas del maltrato.

          • Michael Mcewen

            I prefer Bogota women

          • Nolose

            What kind of comment is this? Bogotanas are uglier? How can you generalize such a thing? We are so different. Very ignorant comment!

          • Austin

            They are not generally uglier but all in Colombia for more than a honeymoon know where the Uber Hot ones are in abundance.. Cali and Medellin .. ( there are some hot ones in Bogotá) but you know where the Uber Hot ones will be

        • Katherine

          This is such an ignorant ass generalization. Maybe you need to be smarter and look for the right women in Medellin not the sluts that hang at the bars. They are everywhere. I was born in the US but I am Paisa. I am not flaky if I don’t like a person I tell them I don’t like them. Also I am not a dummy I have a brain. Getting my masters in Nursing and I am a strong women. I do not depend on marrying someone to get me a living. I work really hard and yes I have a typical body of a Paisa women but no surgery all natural and still smart. So stop being ignorant and generalize where ever you go there will be smart woman, slutty women, lazy women and whatever. Stop looking for a specific women and maybe you will meet the right one. Maybe you chase for the idiots because you only focused on looks. Another thing if these women are gorgeous knockouts who are dumb obviously the only thing they care about is what they want because they know they can get a man of their preference so it’s just their nature. Maybe if you lowered your standard, don’t look for Barbie look for that girl next door that you ignore because she did not look like a model.

    • Sandra

      Wow, what a suprise! I thought i would never hear a actual colombian speak of there own kind that way, but i agree with you 100%. I have been here in buca for three years and the majority of the women go around prancing in practically nothing down the streets. They do like to flaunt their boobs and butts a lot. They always wear high heels to show off there butts that i guarantee most got injected with their own fat while getting lipo. I went in person to do a little research here in Colombia at several surgeons office for lipo and other types of implants, and almost every Dr. said that girls at the age of 15 ask for a boob or butt implant instead of asking for a party. They have this images implanted in them of the women they see on tv, magazines, or walking down the street so they have this urge to be like them. Honestly it is a sad protrayal of what women think they need to look like to keep a man or have them turn around and look at them. I wish while I was here in Colombia I would have had friend like you with an honest opinion and not full of air. I have had bad luck since i met my soon to be sister in laws, who love to talk about lipo and being skinny. I want to know if it normal for the Colomboan women to huddle in a room or they are go to the bedroom to whisper and talk or gossip, but they don’t call me over to join them. Is that the way they uaually do things here or are they being mean and rude? Are they jealous because a colombian man is engaged to me a American or Mexican American.

    • QueChimba

      I got news for you. The supposedly “Educated” ones are just as bad-maybe even worse. I always said a Masters Degree in the best University in Colombia is about as good as a high school degree in Canada in the 70s. Don’t be offended- Kazakhstan , Russia and a few other places are in the same boat.

  • Norsefire666

     Hey Ryan!.. I had some really urgent work to do but instead got hooked up almost 2 hrs reading on your blog. I came here reading about travelling but what I’ve found is a neverending source of not only language advice and travel experiences but also some mind blowing stuff. You really punched me in the Face with the “29 life lessons”. So, I’d really like to congratulate you on your great blog!!… De verdad que me ha encantado. Ahora, espero dejar claro con este comentario que aquello del Colombian flake es simplemente REAL. Me atrevería a decir que es algo mas que todo Bogotano, pero aún como colombiano poco he conocido de mi propio país y no sé si aplique para paisas, caleños, costeños etc… pero en Bogotá es lo mas usual que casi cualquier cosa en la que se queda telefónica o virtualmente con alguien sea, de todas maneras, algo sujeto a no ocurrir. Por acá tenemos claro que cualquier cosa que suene a:


    Significa realmente “NO”

    So, make always a plan B when planning stuff to do with Colombians, as we have to live with the burden of the Colombian Flake. I write this as a Colombian who colombian flakes and gets colombian glaked regularly 😉

    Greetings from cold and rainy Bogota!!

    • What an awesome comment! Thanks for the props as well the insider’s info on Colombia… I’m am always happy when my boots-on-the-ground observations are confirmed by another witness. 😉

      Y tienes razon sobre los colombianos. De hecho “te aviso” es algo que he escuchado muchas veces desde muchas personas, solo al fin y al cabo estar decepcionado.

      Salud, amigo!

      • Sandra

        Go to bucaramanga colombia you will not be disappointed. The girls are easier.

  • haha this can be true, soy paisa y se que lo he hecho it’s like some kind of a.d.d. we dont mean to do this though, I don’t like to generalize so I wouldn’t say everyone does this but theres always the possibility the girl just doesnt know how to say no and didnt want to offend you by saying she didnt want to hang out, as a girl I know I’m guilty of this just because I didnt want to hurt a guys feelings

    • Gracias por el comentario, Steph… y no te preocupes, ya me encantan las paisitas. 😉

    • Yo creo que todas las culturas tienen sus cosas buenas y sus cosas malas, growing up in the u.s. Ive always hated how people take their friends more seriously than their family and families are rarely a colombian you know what that means to us and its just sad to see that, honestly, when I date someone it’s one of the things I look for, if hes your typical tolerates parents, sees them when he has to, I wouldnt even consider dating someone like that

  • Karla D16

    Hey! Well I read your story and I have to tell you that we are not all like that. I mean, when I don’t want to be with a guy I just say it, done. Girls that do these kind of things are usually slutty. Yes, slutty. “Colombian Flake” That’s just not true. I think girls do this everywhere because they want to feel important! Not because they are Colombian. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your stay here and come back. 

    The best wishes, Karla D.

    • Karla, have you spent time in the US?

  • the reason !

    the reason !
    I am from Colombia I will give you the possible reason why this girl did that, 2 mistakes that you did in your conversation
    1.when you invite a colombian girl to a plan, never invite to her to your house and never for a movie in your house in colombia this plan is known as “peli-culiar” peli means movie the second part of the word you have to ask what does it means, so the girl was imagining that she would have to deal with you all the night while you are trying to have sex with her and she will have to avoid you all the night while you are ” watching ” the movie, next time , even if it s monday night, take to her to a nice restaurant, a nice place and buy to her, her favorite coctail, Easy!! and fun!
    2.Don t say to a colombian girl that she would have to walk, we are not used to walk in a date to go anywhere,we love hills and even it s close , it s painful, we like to be treated like princess, when she said pick up me , she means come here in a car and do it comfortable for me.
    That s why she prefered to be with the other guy LOL!!!
    And she was polite, she didn t want you to feel bad because you haven t car or because your plan was not fun for her, so she said yes but then no answer, next time be more gentelman, colombian girls like gentelman and to feel comfortable always. Finally you know the reason!

    • So 1) have a car and 2) don’t invite over for movies. Got it. 😉
      Thanks for the comment!

      • anahtutu

        The car is not true at all, thats personal. I love to walk, some other dont and I deff think that was not a problem… we dont like to use the car for a 5 minute drive to go and buy la leche a la vuelta de la esquina.

    • Baobab

      wow, you like to be treated by princesses? Princess complex. Remember this bullshit so well from my time in Medellin.

    • Michael Mcewen

      don’t try and justify it – colombian girls are flakey!

      They are super easy to get into bed after date 2 or 3, but you really need to persist and have TIME so that you can deal with the flakes.

      Great girls for casual fun but would never wife one as they lie toooo much.

    • Ohh boy

      Or don’t give ambiguous responses and just say no if you don’t want to go. It’s more hurtful to be done like that than to be just told no. What a crock of poo.

    • Austin

      She just got finished bangn the dude in the kitchen! Hell dude prolly don’t have his own place anyway! ( a 20mil peso bed in a sex motel for 30min or less.. ) an no frickn hot water…gross! (Gringos prefer hot water, thanks) an have a car is a joke also.. She don’t have a car an the regular dudes bangn her might have a scooter! Dumbest sh*t I’ve seen and heard! No way I’d bang a guy living on pesos, If I was a Hot Colombian way! Its 3-1usd.. But once ur here and know the ropes its like 5-6.. But game respects game.. Somebody gota fall for it .. You jus gota have ground game ..( always be interviewing) the numbers and time is on your side!

  • I’m born and raised in US, 1st generation colombian and have had experiences like this one in colombia and new york. Let me just say I usually ended up being the guy in the Kitchen. It’s sounds like you had one those “hard to keep” kind of girls. I’ll give you a piece of advise that has worked for me in the past. ” How to pull a 180º on a Colombian Girl”

    1) Don’t be afraid to be a little aggressive and confident (not overly). If she’s giving you the “Claro que si/No” queue, it’s time to step it up with a, “Pero no me vaya quedar mal oyo? Ya le estoy preparando la carroza.” Now I say this in light of me usually giving off a very nonchalant demeanor. So for me to get a little upset usually comes of as a Joke. Remember Joker good, Choker bad.

    2) Why did I put emphasis on a carriage when you have no car. Well it makes it easier to joke about the fact that, you broke foo. You show up, she’s says where’s my carriage, you say, the horse got sick i think he got food poisoning, says this with a big smile. You’ll make her laugh and at least you got to a point where you can overshadow the no car dilemma with your personality.

    3) Inviting her for a movie at your house for a first date. Baaaad move. Movie theater would’ve been a better idea. House movie is too eager for reasons already mentioned. You can try and pull that off on a first date by telling her you gotta stop by your house for something and then saying, You sure you want to go out? We can always watch a movie here, sin faltar respeto obviamente…pero si quiere que sea grosero, a la orden corazon. Never close the door all the way, metaphorically speaking lol.

    4) And if all goes bad and you show up and she’s with another guy! Cooking! Don’t Bitch at her! Just walk up to her quietly and look her dead in her eyes, never acknowledge the other guy and whisper to her, “Si quiere mañana venga a la casa y me concina…pause, look her up and down and finish off by saying….”mamasota”. Turn around don’t let her answer and walk out! This is kind of dick…but if you do it right it can come off as sexy to “some” women or just confuse the shit out of them…but confused usually leads to curiosity. Plus you don’t owe her any explanations at this point.

    • Awesome. Thanks for the tips, parce!

      • Max Ferrante

        Ryan how did you end up living in Colombia? I live in the US looking for a change.. any tips.

    • Guest

      Your problem is that you all of your eggs in the same basket.
      You should have approached tons of girls in order have at least 4 or 5 potential dates set. That’s the only way to reduce flakes at a minimum.

    • Pablo Martin Podhorzer

      Why would you talk to a woman that did that to you. She does not deserve anything.

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  • Melisa Rátiva

    I did this once to who is now my hubby!! It was our 3th date and I just got a better plan, but after some time and some missed calls I was feeling so bad that I called and invited him to join. He was a little angry, but here we are happy. I guess it is kind of normal between Colombians like being late or assume the other people know what they are thinking.

    • Yeah, it seems normal in Colombia… Thanks for the comment, Melisa!

  • Nathalia Santiago

    Well, this I found quite funny.
    Considering that I am a Colombian,and, I do not know how I got here, but I loved your blog, It’s awesome!.Also,is quite entertaining read the point of view of a foreigner,a man,and the comments.
    As a woman, I don’t think that happens a lot here in Bogotá at least, I’m not related to,(specially a date in your place,- It was a little rushed-) Another guy, knowing you were picking up her…, then, you would have really bad luck or “muy demalas” of finding someone like that, that’s what makes it a bit funny.
    I look forward to reading the next post about Colombia.

    • Thanks for reading Natalia! 🙂

    • Spinny

      Hello there. Are you in Bogota?
      Well I just came here and I kinda like the place.

      • Nathalia Santiago

        Yeah, I currently live here.
        I’m really glad you’re having a good time in Colombia!

  • anahtutu

    I think this is true, I’ve done it, friends of mine have done it and I’ve discussed about it so I would try to explain from our point of view why that happens:

    1. She really didnt like you and was not really interested in you. Whenever a guy we really like tell us to go to do the most stupid thing we deff would be aware of it. Its like everything if you really care, you would never forget that you have that in the agenda.
    2. Something that said Steven Becerra between lines is that you were too nice with her, we like gentleman TRUE, but we also like assholes, is like a perfect mixture that will drive us crazy. If you behave super nice, super kind we will take you for granted and you will become part of the list of Arrocitos en bajo which is the basic explanation of the colombian flake
    3. Why a girl doesnt say no if she is not really intersted on you? Because we have and like to have the list of the arrocitos en bajo. That list is where we put those nice guys that we would call or text them when we are bored and when the asshole (i talked about previously) didnt show up. Also we put certain guys to make jelous the asshole, to show him we are wanted, that we are pretty and certain other men are intersted in us. Finally, for our own ego, helps us feeling better, this reminds you that there are other guys that are “crazy” for you, that you dont need the asshole, I think we (idk if womens or colombians) are unsecure sometimes (even if your a paisa mamasota) and this list would deff help u for that.

    Sometimes you think that just because of the fact you foreigners that would be enough. So my tip would be, still be nice, be a gentleman but always when she’s getting too arrogant take that asshole out. The clue is not being too asshole, not being too nice 😉

    Im a colombian into foreigners (like all girls here), currently crazy in love with my norwegian boyfriend but I wish he takes sometimes a bad boy side out.

    Hope it works 😉

    • ‘ Arrocitos en bajo’ no he escuchado este expression LOL!

    • Michael Mcewen

      And you are the reason I would never wifey a colombian. Damn fun girls to have sex with but I never take them seriously.


      Bsically they are all not worth it. I prefer my beautiful European FSB women to a Colombian woman any day. They have all the Virtues a man looks for plus they all are quite beautiful and few play that game of Arrocitos Bajo. Who has time for that shit…

  • Maurice Castellanos

    Colombian women love to play games to catch a man, in her case she was playing hard to get with you. You displayed too much neediness. The better strategy would have been to call once and after that not again. I guaranty she would be all over you.

  • donayush

    Nicely loving your blog

  • Luisa Fernanda

    U make me laugh, nice reading!!!. I am a from Bogotá and I want to say that I am not lke that girl.

  • Nicholas Ed Alarcon

    steven is definitely right on what he said. I married a Colombian girl and I’m from the states from miami haha, dated many nationalities but nothing like colombians they are absolutely a different way to conquistar my brother. I realized this when I was dating my girl and is that like the Colombian saying goes “entre mas las tratan mal mas se enamoran” the more you treat them bad the more they fall for you, and it sounds cruel bro i know but i dont know why it works so well at first, off course im not the asshole my wife met but i wonder how the hell she fell in love with me in the first place because i remember being a complete dick when we first started dating, just for the record girls im not a dick anymore a learned and im in love with her still after 2 years of marriage.

    • valsanti

      Well, your history sounds familiar, to be honest i’m married to a norwegian. after 5 years I still ask myself how i turn up ending up with him when he was a completely dickhead. He married to me, we had a child together, he cares about me. But is he a dick head still YES… we get obsessed with what we can’t get so we do anything to get it. well, personally I do that. the problem is when love disappear or the obsession disappear we turn up to be a real real crazy womans and we will leave without say even good bye for ever. guys end up so confused… Believe me.

      • zoran

        Hi Valsanti, it happened exactly that to me with one Colombian woman. I need some advice from you, can you contact me astrozor at yahoo dot com please

    • Venus

      That usually happens with sexy girls

  • Iuno Six

    Escaping from the Columbian topic. I’m dating a Cuban girl for close to three years. I absolutely I NVR knew what Cubans were lol sisnt know they spoke Spanish until I met her haha. I though mexican ppl spoke Mexican or w.e lmao. No offense to the south americans lol but its like the same thing as Asians. I went to Cuba’s local town and night clubs and goddamn they all say chino or Jackie chan. Its funny but I feel so overwhelmed. Asians all lookalike lol. But this is a nice topic and ya columbian girls are crazy sexy. Bro I hope stuff works out for you

    • Iuno Six

      Crap I can’t even spell lol Colombian****

  • Tomas Rowe

    In a word “Intenso” and the only thing worst is probably being considered “tacaño”.

    Really hot paisas have a lot on their plate at anyone time and you are always at a disadvantage when you are planning on going out on a first date. Just too many know quantities out there and you got trumped.

    Was this really the only paisa that you wanted to go out with?

    When she didn’t answer the phone you should have called the next in line and not answered yours if she called back.

    You could have called her the next day and still had a shot at gettin in there but you hunted her down and put it in her face.

    You should have played it off like it was nothing and banged another girl instead.

    Once you are banging a Paisa on the regular, then you can start to demand that she answer her phone and show up on time….until then you just have to learn to play it cool and and take it where you can get it.

    Take it from a gringo that has spent more than 20 years in Colombia. Don’t be intenso!

    • Max Ferrante

      How did you end up living in Colombia? Looking to move out of the US but need to know how to survive out there.

      • Get a plane ticket. Pack clothes. Rent an apartment. Buy groceries. No different than anywhere else. The mindset is what is missing.

  • Angelica

    Ryan, I’m sorry this happened to you. I am a Colombian woman who does not flake on people ,but I think that if she did not answer on that day you should have just left it alone. You in the other hand are being very dramatic over the whole situation. Kinda acting like a huge drama queen maybe you should look into that as one of the reasons she didn’t want to hang out with you in the first place. If she didn’t want to hang out what ever fuck it and move on. The girl to guy ratio is definitely in your favor. But You do not need to slam a whole race of woman over the few bad apples you have dealt with. If I were to write something like this I would be slamming the entire male race for being dogs and assholes but I believe good people exist so keep your head up and keep searching.

    • Chewy Lyons

      HA ha ha, I would not have wasted my time going to her but by chance i had ran into her and she was with another guy I would put a couple hundred bucks in her hand and say you should take him out to a nice restaurant because by the looks of him he cant afford to take you places that I would and then blow her off, but I can afford to be an ass like that..

    • Jerald

      Do Colombian women typically use U.S. men for citizenship? That’s what happened to me. 3 1/2 years into marriage and she starts getting “depressed” out of the blue right around the time she gets her green card. Coincidence? yeah right. She left soon after.

      • Mike

        I started on my quest for a foreign wife 20 years ago. I met my Colombian wife in 2000 and we’ve been married for almost 12 years. She became a citizen about a year ago. I’ve read many stories over the years about foreign women using U.S. men for green cards and citizenship. I would say that Colombian women who use U.S. men for a green card probably represent a minority of all those who marry U.S. men.

        • Why not turn the tables and use them to get Colombian citizenship instead?

          • Hey Nomad Capitalist – I can think of one reason not to gain Colombian citizenship: falling into Colombia’s tax net. The passport is also not that good.

          • It will be an excellent passport later this year when they get EU access. And taxation in Colombia is residential, so you would simply live somewhere else after the two year naturalization period (which you could likely spend 183 days living out of the country).

          • Pablo Martin Podhorzer

            It will never be good. Colombians escape their country to go anywhere.

          • Vincent Vendetta

            Zzzzzzzzz….u OBVIOUSLY have never been there

        • Vincent Vendetta

          Wepaaaaaa gringito!

      • Vincent Vendetta


    • Baobab

      its not a few apples. If most colombian guys are assholes, colombian girls say it like that. If most Paisa girls are flaky and disrespectful, you can say it like that. Thank God I am in Bogota and dont have to deal with it.

      • Austin

        ^^ comment ^^

    • Chris

      Yeah I agree I’m not chasing after any women. If she didn’t answer my first call than I’m moving on. Maybe I wouldn’t replace her that same night but I refuse to stalk anyone for any reason.

      • Austin

        The chase is 9/10ths.. All ya have to do is stay out there in the field.. Hell ur chasing P for Penny’s on the dollar! Dayyyum.. There so many Uber hot ones there why not?

        • Vincent Vendetta

          Moreno…ur pic is sketchie.

          • Austin


    • Ohh boy

      She also could have been more respectful to a fellow human being and just said no. Don’t make excuses for that behavior and try and tell him he’s dramatic.

      • Austin

        Azzholes always get it first.. they might not keep it but they do get it first..(put enough 1st together and u got all the P you can handle.. ) don’t believe me, ask her about the last dude she had or..Proof perfect the daddy of those 2 kids she has!

    • Vincent Vendetta


  • Eric Van Buskirk

    This is a great post that applies to any intercultural dating. Bottom line is there is no excuse for this kind of behavior. I get the feeling it is done by guys in Columbia as well. Call a spade a spade: this seems to show a superficial side to Columbia IF, and I mean IF, this is truly a tren/common.

    I look forward to visiting Columbia again. My first trip was Cartegenia. Was tough to meet people there back in 1999, but I didn’t know anyone in advance and it was just a vacation.

    On another note, it’s so amazing that the country is breaking out of it’s stereotype for Americans. 15 years ago Americans just thought it was the most #ucked up place in the world.

    With the Narco’s out of “power” people see so much more.

    Personally I also thought people were deprived of culture and all guys loved guns– this based narrowly from seeing some dumb machismo guys on mhy 1 week trip in 1999. Now I see maybe was wrong.

    • Venus

      Ahem…. ColOmbia and CartAgenA

  • Luis Laureano

    Maybe you should stop being such a needy bitch lmfao!!! Women don’t like to have a linger to their farts hahahaha! (You are the linger btw…)

    Would have been me she’s going with me the same night loser. What a cunt… You don’t think you are a needy cunt? Look at the horrendous elaborated most detailed explanation of the chick not digging you and instead was hanging out with another guy who actually had balls to make her cook lmfao. Think what you want! Stop being such a girl pussy boy.

  • Cristina Cordoba

    OMG I can’t stop laughing! I am a Colombia girl and we lack the ability of saying NO. I have lived in various countries now and I am still struggling with this. Most of the times we do not want to be assholes or anything like that, we just do not want to hurt anybody. Of course we end up doing completely the opposite. BTW if somebody does not answer the first time or a text do not keep insisting, you will be a super intenso otherwise. Cheers 🙂

  • valsanti

    I agree with some of the comments, No everyone is like this in Colombia. we just don’t take serious dating the first time. It might no work that day but it would be nice if you give a second try. if we really no into someone we won’t even care if you don’t call anymore or we won’t even reply back. that is how we are. it’s no rude it’s just our culture. I had lived overseas for 8 years so I have changed my personality a bit when it comes to turn up late to meetings, dates, parties, dinners etc. also had changed that awful jealously crazy way Colombian woman are. I got way more secure about myself and realise that you don’t need a huge ass or big boobs to end up with an amazing guy. I know it’s annoying but many of local girls haven’t experienced living abroad and haven’t idea how rude this is.

    Maybe next time give it a second change instead of jumping to her and show her how much it pissed you off. She will definitely call you back when she is bored then you have sex with her and never ever call her again and you will see. she will be in your door step everyday waiting for you.

    • Thanks for commenting, ‘Valsanti’! 🙂

    • Chris

      I’m talking to a girl in Bogota and will be taking a trip to Medellin next month and from my experience so far I can say I totally agree with you. Many Colombian’s haven’t lived abroad and since tourism was basically nonexistent for many years its very possible a good number of Colombians both men and women have not had experience dealing with people of different cultures who visit Colombia. I try to keep a open mind when I travel and play by the rules of the country so if that is how Colombian women are than its something I will need to get over quickly or else risk having a bad time. The one thing I don’t like which the girl I’m talking to from Bogota was telling me is that if her and I are walking down the street and some Colombian guys hear her speaking English to me they will assume she is a prostitute I just think that’s very strange and I have been to many countries and several of them are much poorer than Colombian and even there I didn’t have those types of experiences.

  • Diana Cardona

    Get over it!!!!! Regardless you will still always crave a beutiful colombian woman 😉

  • Diego

    This is sooooo right on the mark Ryan. While I agree with many of the comments here about coming on too strong in the beginning, to call it “flaking” or cultural is probably too soft (in my opinion). It’s called LYING! And, while it may happen more in Colombia than most other places, because, let’s face it, the women there ARE unbelievably attractive, and, as they say (without a true spiritual foundation), “total power corrupts totally”, I would call it a “Latina Flake”. I have seen and heard about this all throughout Latin America. I certainly don’t mean to generalize… I have no doubt there are very honest, attractive women there… somewhere… also. However, I just ended a six month relationship (if you can call it that) this week with a woman from Mexico City for shockingly similar reasons. Some of the responses suggested looking for someone with more education… ehhhhh!!! She is an incredible artist, well-educated, from a (supposedly) noble family. She simply had NO grasp of the importance of Truth (or humility for that matter). As a side note, just because a person grows up in a very Catholic culture doesn’t mean they are actually doing the necessary spiritual work (so that their “Yes” will generally mean “Yes”!)… May God bless you as you try to find a woman of real substance. (A funny thing just happened… I was just about to post this when I received an email from “her”, basically trying to explain why she constantly lies… I politely told her… I understand… We will simply have to agree to disagree…)

  • Dude

    This happened to me again today. I am in Colombia for months. And this kind of shit happens a lot here. In my home country, yes.. it happens sometimes, but here it is about 60-70% of the dates that cancel without a word or in the last minute. Often with some very elaborate excuse, most likely rehearsed/used many times before. For example this evening had to go to the hospital because her sobrina almost cut off her finger. Mmmm right.

    I read a lot of comments here from colombianas who just seem to shrug their shoulders and just say, that’s the way we are. Ok. That doesn’t mean it is a nice way of being does it, it doesn’t make it right. So that’s just another bullshit excuse to continue lying to people. Just grow some balls and learn to say NO. “I did not want to hurt his feelings so I didn’t say no”. Wow, what a perfect excuse to not take responsibility for your own actions and what you say. Like a five-year old kid! And what you do is EXACTLY the opposite of what you were thinking. You DO hurt someones feelings when you say yes and then not show up. How is that not possible for colombianas to understand?

    Let me make one thing very clear. This is definitely a thing that goes on in Colombia and not even close in my home country. Some people here would like to make it look like that colombianas are just like girls in other countries in this regards. They are not. And I totally agree with one poster that this is not flaky or any other word, it is just lies in its purest form.

    Any girl that cancels on me I never go out with. Not even if we had 2 dates previous. Cancel one time and she is out. Very simple, don’t disrespect my time. If there is one thing we don’t have enough of it is time.

    To all colombianas. If you agree on a date, then you show up. If you don’t want to go on a date you just say no. Why? Because then the guy can plan something else, do something else with his time.

    And please, calling a person that doesn’t like to be stood up a drama queen.. you should really try being stood up a few times and see how that feels. It is not fun to have your time wasted! There is nothing to joke about.

    The worst example I have experienced is one girl in Cali who I met a few months back. We had some very good times together and kept in touch for several months. Once I got the chance to return to Cali I asked her very clearly, if I come to Cali this weekend do you have time to meet me? Si, claro, me encantaría verte! So I booked a ticket and a hotel. I told her that had booked the flight, the times, which hotel. Then when I got there it was impossible to get a hold of her, that whole weekend. Once back in my Colombian town she was reachable again. How about that. LOL!! I have more examples very similar to that one, but that was the absolute worst so far.

    Many times I got Sí! Me encantaría! Claro que sí! Quiero verte con muchas ganas!
    All lies. You can’t trust anything a colombiana says. Generally. But yes, there are some women that actually show up and on time even! And that has NOTHING to do with level of education. Nothing at all! And it has nothing to do with being an asshole or not. The women that I meet on regular basis have low education and I never treat them like an asshole. Ok.. well.. they know I date other women so I guess that might make me an asshole, but at least I am always honest about it.

    So all in all a lot of the comments here are pure bullshit and also filled with irresponsible immature colombianas. And you don’t have to be 40 years old to be able to take responsibility for your actions and what you say. That starts at 18 years old!

    • Venus

      You sound completely desperate. I understand this poor women

    • Baobab

      The best comment ever.

    • The “uh, thats just how we do things here” is a bad excuse used in many countries. “Yeah, our wifi is always broken, our service sucks, we’re lazy, etc.”. These are the countries that will always be poor.

    • Austin

      Dude Colombian women lie.. Period .. Gota roll with the punches.. That’s cowardice behavior .. its inbred.. Relax.. Its so many keep hunting..

  • sara

    It’s a shame I have to accept that’s a cultural thing… It’s not only with dating.. if you are going to hang out with friends you have to confirm a thousand times to know you are not going to be the only one arriving… and I’m colombian too.. but I hate this kind of attitude… I think that’s why it works so good with my german bf :)… not every colombian girl is like that, so I hope you find the right one!

  • Mike1981

    Your problem is that you all of your eggs in the same basket.
    should have approached tons of girls in order have at least 4 or 5
    potential dates set. That’s the only way to limit flakes.

  • Claudia

    Lol this is very true.. And when they say its because “they dont want to break your heart” its a total lie. Im a woman and Ive had colombians do the exact same thing to me most being women!! With one we had plans for a night out with a third friend for a week.. Right when we are waiting for her at the place she sent us a text message saying she is”very sick in the hospital”.. Really?? hahaha! What they do is just plain disrespect.. Not “latin culture” or not want to hurt you as they say

  • Violetverses

    I spent a little bit of time living/teaching in Colombia. I lived in Cali, and traveled to Medellin, Bogota, & Santa Marta, but obviously as a woman, my experience was vastly different. I did hook up with a guy who said he didn’t have a girlfriend who I later found out to have a wife and two children, but I wasn’t expecting anything more than sex, so I wasn’t brokenhearted or anything (but was annoyed, because I don’t ever sleep with men in relationships, or married men). Men there are incredibly aggressive and their machismo attitude really turns me off.

    But in regards to being stood up, that’s happened to me before, and I simply texted the person something like “clearly you have other plans, or simply don’t want to hang out. I would have appreciated the decency of you letting me know, but am grateful to realize this early what kind of person you are. Lose my number.” Short, sweet, to-the-point, and shuts down any possibility of future attempts at communication or poor excuses. I can’t fathom actually looking for that person or bothering to confront them in person, especially if there is no established relationship. I’d recommend keeping a bit of dignity and pride next time and just leaving a succinct message saying goodbye. I once waited over an hour for a guy to show up, and finally left, simply texting him, “my time is valuable to me, and I date men who value it as well.” The next day, he sent flowers and begged for another chance, and I believe this is because I didn’t call or text over and over or try to find him or confront him, I kept my dignity and he realized I meant business. I didn’t agree to go out with him, though, as I didn’t like him all that much in the first place.

    And my last comment is in agreement with the sentiment echoed by many women who commented here: don’t invite a woman over for a movie. You certainly don’t need to spend tons of money, but if you ask her out, be specific & set a place to meet (women really enjoy decisiveness, & it means something when a guy thinks about where to go.) A walk in the park or cup of coffee won’t break the bank but will let her know that you value her company. Honestly, if a guy simply asks me over to watch a movie on a first date, I think he’s lazily trying to get into my pants, and I won’t go. Also, when she asked what you wanted to do, you said, “whatever,” which is an incredibly apathetic and non-romantic response. I once met a guy who asked me on a date and then called and told me he’d taken the liberty of making reservations at three restaurants that evening, and asked me to pick the one I’d most enjoy. It wasn’t a match, but I will forever remember the gesture. I don’t want to negate your experience–getting stood up stings, and I do agree that Colombian women can be ruthless gold diggers, but for the ones who are worth it, putting a bit of effort in in the beginning could pay off big time. Good luck!

  • It sounds like there’s some room for improvement with your text game… but the truth is that Colombianas are viciously flakey…
    I had a sweet moment of revenge once, I invited an Andrea to join me for sushi at 6:30 and I invited an Isabel the same day for sushi at 7:30.
    Andrea let me know that she was running late but would meet me for sure at the Juan Valdez. I went there about 20 minutes late myself and waited… and waited.
    Then I got a text from Isabel – she was in Parque Lleras, practically on time! My phone was on the verge of dying so I made a quick decision. Thanks to persistent cold approaching, I had seduced Andrea the night I met her, so I would wait on Andrea and try to push my Plan B back later in the evening. I told Isabel that I needed to fix a disaster with one of my websites but that she should wait at a hostel nearby and I would meet her in an hour. She responded with irritation.
    Then my phone died and I immediately began to question my assessment of my options… I imagined that at any moment Isabel would walk into the cafe to use the free wifi and my cover would be blown, I even tried to hide behind the plants a little so I could hopefully duck out of view if she showed up.
    I waited another 40 minutes in suspense of an impending verbal thrashing from Isabel and irritation at Andrea for being so damn late.
    Finally, the Juan Valdez closed, I decided to wait outside another 5 minutes, seriously starting to regret my duplicity… and you know what, Andrea finally appeared! I hadn’t been so happy to see a girl in a long time.
    She was dressed to kill, wearing these ridiculous high heels that she could barely walk in, as we slowly teetered to the sushi joint I still imagined the awkwardness of running back into Isabel.
    We got a single california roll to go about 10 minutes before the kitchen closed. I took her to my nearby office to eat and have a few shots of aguardiente. A few minutes later her cocktail dress was on the floor of my office.
    I returned home with a big smile on my face, my revived phone buzzed with angry texts from Isabel.
    The moral of the story is that Isabel turned out to be still quiet attracted, after surprisingly little sweet talking she forgave me completely and we ended up actually having a nice little relationship.
    This kind of ungentlemanly, dishonest and  scandalous yet alpha behaviour really is the only defense against the flakey Colombianas. I have a couple of latino friends who are real master seducers and the do the same kinds of things all the time to girls.
    Colombianas really are their own worst enemy, when you consider that this duplicity kept two young, sexy girls attracted to me you understand why Colombian men in general are such  cheating dogs. You understand why this country has so many damn single mothers.
    I actually hate to treat women like this but anytime I tried to practice integrity and honesty in my relationships with Colombianas it was rewarded with rejection – they went cold on me.
    Go full duchbag… and wear a condom!

  • SeaJay CamMan ViLer

    ‘These girls flake and flake often because it’s who they are.”… Man I think that’s generalizing and stereotyping… Even tho you’ve known 250 Colombians and they flake; im pretty sure ya don’t know all Colombians, ’cause ya don’t know me. Those (Colombian) people who flake do it as humans not as Colombians, and its all a coincidence that they’re all Colombians who have flaked to u…
    Not all Colombians got that certain degree of laxity, or/and flake… And don’t think all of them are Catholics(even tho u neva said that) or that just because they’re Catholics they don’t lie and are evil; ’cause… also, ya should know most religious people, at least those what I’ve known, suck when it comes to their own beliefs, what they claim… It’s easy to go over there talkin’ or preachin shit.
    And watch out for Paisas, “Don’t eat all what they cook”… They overrated!
    And… Ya invited her to WATCH A MOVIE IN YOUR HOUSE!!?… Lol! When I was readin’ that part I was like “Huh, this man just wanted to fvck her”… Yep, we don’t have to assume things, and less based on what is been common; i know thts generalizin and stereotypin, and thats wrong; i make mistakes, to; but in Colombia when a hetero man or a homosexual/lesbian invite a woman to WATCH A MOVIE IN HIS/HER HOUSE, it most means “I invite you to my house to fvck a little, that’s all I want!”… “Watch a movie in my house” is called “Peli-culiar” in Colombia Lol!; I think it’d translate like “Movi-fvck” into English… Sad, but most of time that girls in Colombia are invited to go to a house to watch a movie, they try to watch something else thn a movie and eat something else than just pizza; ya got me!?… Like “Fuck the movie, let’s fvck!”… Some girls are fine wit it, they go knowing their intentions; but some girls just get offended, get angry and want to give a lesson… Ya know! Not all (Colombian) girls are the same.
    I don’t know if the lady thought like tht when ya invited her, maybe she’s just a flaky bitch; but take that about watchin’ a movie in ur house in mind wen it comes to Colombians; ya can invite to that, but be careful, and make sure ya really wanna watch a movie and eat pizza with ha, get her to trust… I know that’s generalizin and stereotypin… and that’s wrong!.

  • Derek_V

    Wow found this by conincidence. You are a crazy lunatic.
    So she bailed on your date big fucking deal.
    But you decide to stalk after her and make a scene like a whiny bitch?
    Get over it and work on your mental problems.

  • Imy

    Hahahahaha funny story. By by the are you Colombian yourself? If not, then Colombian women are not for you. Stick to your own roots and race!

  • Imy

    I have a Colombian girlfriend for 5 years and she is not flaky. Not all Colombian women are the same. After spending 5 years with my darling, i have learned that you got to be respectful, romantic, non compromising, open minded, love all the things she enjoys and entertain her family etc etc. Only then you would enjoy the best experience or in fact a time of your life! You went to fast mate, you showed no respect [in asking her for a coffee at your place] she knew what your attentions and thinking were. She may have got offended about your prospective on Colombian women. To sum things up you went to her job place like a desperate schoolboy, who was promised his chocolate but did not get it on his plate. Finally, you never know she may have got back to you about the date, and may have set-up another time but, after you appeared at her job place you have finished all hope. Why would i go out with a Women who show’s no confidence and throw’s up at my job place like a needy!

  • Juan

    jajajajaja yeah you better keep you European girl, let us deal with Colombian women here in Colombia, we know how to handle it you loser!

  • John

    This isn’t about Colombian girls, it’s about girls in general. Your kind invitation was basically, why don’t you come to my place for some sex..? Honestly, if you analyse your motives, that’s what you were thinking. For most girls, and South American girls especially, accepting an invitation for sex would basically make her a “puta” in her own mind. Most girls don’t see themselves that way so it’s really not surprising she rejected you.

    This article is about what you hate about Colombian girls but really you just seem bitter that the girl didn’t want to sleep with you. You got your hopes up and then they were cruelly smashed.

    The solution.

    Part 1. When a girls doesn’t answer your call it’s because she doesn’t want to talk to you. Read the blatantly obvious signals and don’t embarrass yourself by going to her workplace.

    Part 2. Treat her with some respect and actually make an effort. Maybe she did like you but you blew it by asking her to come over to your house for sex… For next time invite her to something that’s actually exciting for her! Going out to eat in a really nice restaurant. Going dancing in a nice club. Going to the cinema. When you get to know her and she likes you and you’ve been on 3 or 4 dates then invite her back for a film and I’m sure she won’t flake.

  • lore29

    Dear Ryan, not all things that shine, are gold. As someone say, in other words, better find more natural girls, and go to more cultural and intelectual places, and you will have fun , as you never imagine.. In the dress one thing is to be coqueta, otra vulgar, eso dice mucho. As a woman, I will give you , some advices about the persons of my genre:

    1. Invite to your house, a girl, is not a good, plan. A serious one, wont acccept it. Pues, no es visto como algo, bueno, in the firsts dates.

    2. Try to observe more, how she act with other men, her friends group, how she see her love past life, and of course family.

    3.Give compliments,About appereances, could be with short words, for create a air of mistery, and not all the time , because it could looks for her fake or you could be for her a shallow guy. Only in ¨special¨ocassions. Give compliments, about her qualities too, for example; ¨Me encantó lo que dijiste¨. Not all the time, ojo.

    4. Try to learn about her culture. For example you can find a good excuse, of ask to her, if she can help you to increase your spanish, or about some salsa dance steps. Women love that men listen to them.

    5. All women, like pretty words. But the good ones, wants facts. Win her trust over all.

    6. Details, are good, and is not needly that they be expensive, ( The good manners of old movies, still makes magic). For example, if she has head ache, you can buy to her a tea. Show that you really care of her. Que te importa ella sus sentimientos, sus ideas.

    7. Always with class, be strong, have your own voice, but in the best way, your opinions with good arguments, without be cocky or rude. For example she could say; Me gusta el café fuerte ¿ quieres?. You could say: No , pero te lo agradezco, la verdad, prefiero el café con leche. a strong man, has his own opinions, y no cambia su personalidad, por una mujer, sólo mejora como persona.

    8. We the women like men, that care about theirselves fine, but not metrosexuals please.

    9. A serious women, is independent, dont want your money, but at the same time, she wants un tipo estable as her is. La parejas buenas, se complementan.

    10. Sentido del humor, a very good weapon for seduce a woman ( not rude humor). Good women, will based her decitions, about how you maker feel.

    11. A sensible side, dont make you weaker. For example feel worried, about a hurt animal, or something like that, will catch her atenttion too.

    12. Find a girl, that dont have fear of be lonely. Are more matture, and loyals.

    That girl, was not honest and was inmatture. But cheer up, exists millions of persons to know, for find the rigth one. !!!!!!

    • Pablo Martin Podhorzer

      Why all that effort? With less trouble he can go to Czech Republic and date a really pretty woman that does not look like an inflatable druglord girlfriend.

  • Bull Winkle

    This goes for Colombian people in general. I have met so many people while trying to find an apartment. 45 minutes late.. ignores me then acts shocked when I leave… make plans to move in on saturday. after calling him on friday, he tells me he’s on vacation ’til sunday, even though i already told my host i was leaving. and they always act surprised at your reaction. men who are physically obsessed with colombians, make excuses. they say they are chill and laid back. hawaiians and chill and laidback. these horrible people are inconsiderate and selfish and rude. stores choose the most expensive item of what you order by default, w/o even mentioning tiers. someone asked for a deposit for a one month rental because i’m american. the cars here have never met smog check, so the immediate, on-the-ground air is dirtier than los angeles or houston. summer is too hot and humid and metro only has a fan, no a/c. you can’t use your mobile while walking about. colombia is horrible.

  • Nolose

    Ryan I’m sorry but your actions are scary. Total stalker. If someone doesn’t want to hang out I’ll leave them alone, not go to his place of work.

    She probably should’ve told you no. But to generalize and say every Colombiana is like that is like saying gringos are stupid. Kind of silly, right?

    I agree with some of the other girls. I’m from Bogotá, beautiful inside and out, decent and smart (I’m an engineer and hold and MBA) don’t have fake boobs or butt, very happy with my natural beauty. I dress up but wear no make up. I’m very feminine and would hate to look like a hoochie mama. You should find an educated girl, that doesn’t dress like a street walker and your best bet would be to go to Bogota. BTW, if you need tips I can introduce you to my gringo husband. Good luck.

  • dennis tiamfook

    a man was made to tame any women ,as long she gives you a little attenions that all you need, you have to learn to fit the key in her lock.and be patients and be cool and treat her with lots of respect ,make her laught and smile remember women head are difference from men.the only think what is in front of them, treat her normal ,

  • Chris

    HA HA HA HA Awesome story! I look forward to similar experience when I arrive in Medellin next month.

  • Chris

    Nah not even close.

  • ama michaels

    The people here in Colombia, Medellin specifically, are polite but not sincere. A Colombiano will tell you “yes” all day long and lie straight to your face when they KNOW they mean NO! Sorry man, get used to it. I hate it too. It’s just the way it is here.

    Colombianos exchange pleasantries for countless minutes at times because they avoid getting to the point because they know once they get to the point, someone is going to have to make a decision to make a move and confront the task at hand. This girl you describe probably was just in an “avoidance” mode as they all are.

    People say “Colombianos are friendly.” NO! They aren’t friendly, they are lying to you so they don’t have to face a confrontation. They are being nice and asking you how you are, where you are from, bla bla bla so they can avoid the next step in the encounter whack TAKES brain capacity lol. AND, they are also assessing whether or not they can get some out of you.

    They will smile, say nice things but it’s all to “avoid” the next step of the encounter. I’ve seen people talk back and forth for 10 minutes before getting to the point, if they even get “to the point.”

    What you experienced is very typical of the girls here.

    It doesn’t stop with the girls though, and this is my point. I don’t like the people in Medellin AT ALL. They are a bunch of “polite but not sincere quitters.”

    You will never hear a Colombian say “sorry” for ditching you in line or “excuse me.” They have NO manners.

    They say it’s rude to point here but it’s not rude to ditch in line or stare a hole through your head everywhere you go here? It’s ridiculous. You can walk down any street here and men, women, kids, people on bikes, in cars, 17 at a time will all stare at you and not stop til either you stop or the car behind them honks or they bump into something.

    Colombians can’t get out of their own way and wonder why their lives aren’t any better.

    Get used to it unfortunately. I am stuck here with my job and the day I can leave I’ll be gone and NEVER return to this city who has an inferiority complex to Bogota and NYC. Medellin is clueless. They think because they have a train system they are “innovative.” Go to any restaurant, I dare you, and try to find a menu without beans, rice, and an arepa. That’s innovative?

    Medellin is a joke and you should be happy she blew you off because chances are, her boyfriend probably pimps her out. This is a very real issue here. Be careful. You’ve been warned.

    Oh, and be aware of the female American Bigfoots trolling Parque Lleras. They are disgusting, pale, fat-ankled girls who can’t get laid in the USA.

  • Andrea Rueda

    Ryan, I stumbled upon this way too late but still have the need to defend Colombian women:

    Truth of the matter is: It’s not that all Colombian girls are flaky, it’s just that we will not settle for less than we deserve. That being said, Colombian girls are hard to get and one of the biggest turnoff is realizing a guy’s intentions are purely to netflix and chill. ..

    lets look at her replies:

    “me estas invitando a salir?” implying, in a flirty way, let’s go OUT.
    then she said
    “donde quieres ir?” implying, once again, where will you two goOUT?..

    yet you only asked about whether she was free at night and if she wanted to Netflix and Chill. your intentions are pretty obvious so don’t blame the Colombian culture, blame the lack of incentives to properly show the girl you are taking her seriously and don’t only want a night in cause, as you said, “there’s nothing to do on a Monday night”..

  • Brent Russell

    I don’t know why you have such a problem, Maybe it is who and where you find these girls. I am a %100 gringo and I have never been stood up on a date nor have I been canceled on in Medellin Colombia from a paisa. Maybe it’s because I don’t go for the girl who is wearing extremely slutty clothes, or maybe it is because I speak fluent Spanish, or maybe because I was better looking or always the better option than the “other guy”. It might that I have money and they can see it so they never stand me up because they wanna get my loot? Whatever it is, Colombian girls are all very nice to me. I have had worse luck with American women. Maybe I am a smooth talker in Spanish but in English I suck at game talkin. I have now been with a Colombian girl for over 2 years and she is great. Better than any girl I have been with in the US and other areas of Latin America. Maybe this girl who stood you up sensed some desperation, maybe you smell, your accent is horrific? Could be your an awesome guy and you just meet a lot of bitches.

  • Don’t dwell on one Colombian woman because there are many other Colombian women who are prettier and have better personalities.

    In a country that has women who are beautiful inside and out, a man (whether he is from there or another country) does not have to worry about being rejected. He can easily find another woman who would treat and want to be with him even more.

    The more available the women are, the less a man would care if any of them breaks his heart. Why do we think some Colombian men are the way they are?

  • anon

    this conversayion is all really stupid, I am a colombia woman grom Barranquilla and you guys are just being racist and stereotypical, if you want to flip the table lets talk about how self centered americans are, or how a lot of them dont even know were countries are, and are simply not “culto”. It is so weird how you guys get up in everyoes face about how racism needs to stop but look at you. Your mistake is you are just assholes, treat a girl right and pick her fucking up, tale her to a nice place, don’t have sex on the first date, if she ignores you
    get a fucking hint, and stop insulting her country. Colombia is a developing country which has struguled with a lot lf crap, but we are still standing and going strong.

  • nickspm


    Don’t ask women out on dates. It just puts you in the subordinate position of ‘asking permission.’ This is especially true in places where the ‘I’m a little princess’ mentality reigns supreme.

    Instead make observations that lead to conversations. Don’t be too quick to agree with what she is saying. If you have some rapport after awhile, you can say something like: “Well, I think I’ll see if its gotten a little busier across the street.” If she wants to go with you, she’ll let you know. If not, no problem. You’re a friendly guy, and the night is young…

  • Ohh boy

    If that’s what she said verbatim.. she doesn’t talk like a Colombian

  • Vincent Vendetta

    Ryan-Cabron!##!!… well you shouldn’t be slamming all Colombian girls like that. She flaked on you cuz you’re soft money. Simple. This isn’t England in 1542 girl doesn’t decide she likes you or better yet waste her time on you and that’s how it goes Papito. But they get mad at all Colombian girls and describe them as flakes, that’s just shows everybody why you got did the way you did. Truth be known I actually like Colombian girls for that actual type of move. She decided you were a payaso. And she let you know without hurting your feelings to your face. Lesson learned. You crying and being a bitch about it just shows everybody you haven’t learned anything from it period so since you a little slow I’m going to help you. Your soft money. If you had something going on she would have been out with you believe that so blame yourself the Colombian girls cuz I be messing with Colombian girls and they’re badass. Fact